One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
