Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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