I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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