Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
