I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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