I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
