I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
