ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
