she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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