it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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