i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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