She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
