She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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