I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
