Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
