it's too hot outside to masturbate.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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