Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
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I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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