I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
