I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....