butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath