I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
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They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.