Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF