Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
