New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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