my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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