You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
