i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
