i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
