The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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