So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
