im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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