she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
