Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My friends, they love my intelligence
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
