Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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