His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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