I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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