I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
