I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
