I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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