Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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