girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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