I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
