I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize