What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
