I wish I could punch you in the face.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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