I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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