and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize