you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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