try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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