Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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