Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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