Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
