He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
