He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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