I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.