I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season