ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
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You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility