one might say we're banned from that church
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.