Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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