Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
