who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize