People with herpes should wear stickers.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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