This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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